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Real people. Real fashion. Real stories.
So. I have this friend, who's this web wizard because she continually manages to conjure up websites for me to look at and I am always amazed at HOW she found them, and I'm starting to think she made them up.
Anywho. Her latest pass-off to me was this site, lookbook.nu. It's full of pictures of wannabe fashionistsas (and there's some fashionist-bros on there, too-- like the name I've given them? I do.) flaunting their wafish selves, pretending to be too cool to look at the camera, looking forlornly away under titles such as "Bipolar Disorder" and "Lighntess of being!"
I love it. The vanity! The clothes! The misunderstood youth! My nails are bleeding emo onto the keyboard, the beauty hurts so much.
I can't help wondering if they could be any more pro-anorexic. Or any more ghoulishly WHITE. Or where the cute Cindy A. from Singapore found her scarf and flats. (But if I click on the pic, it will TELL ME. Ooooooh.....)
I hate it. I love it. I hate myself for loving it. Isn't that what being emo is all about, anyway?
Whatevs.
So the next time you find yourself scrunching your nose at a fashion magazine, thinking, "Ya OK no one actually wears this, right?" you'll know you're WRONG, oh so WRONG.
Yo. It's like 60 degrees out. And sunny. So put the Uggs/knee-highs/leather boots away already. Yes, you. Are you asking winter to make a comeback?
These. Shoes. Are. Everywhere.
My mom-- a fashionista in the 80s, called them boat shoes. They're also widely known as Top-Siders, a brand that makes these shoes that used to be reserved for the stuffy people who had, you know, boats. Big ones. I believed they're called yachts.
I don't know what it is. I haven't seen them in any magazine or on any fashion show. I haven't even seen any advertisements for them. But they're everywhere.
I've seen them on grad students. On sorority girls (with black leggings, which makes absolutely NO sense to me, sorry). On a cute little emo-couple waiting in line for lunch at Upper Crust. As they held hands, their skinny little waists in skinny jeans, I noticed they were both wearing boat shoes-- hers were a the tan featured here, and his were a rich mahogany.
I suppose boat shoes are just a natural progression from the flimsy, arch support-less ballet flats. Or they're a natural progression to make us repeat the 80s even more so (and for me, make me look like my parents, who were in their teens then).
After all, ladies, the latest news from the fashion front is that shoulder pads ARE making a comeback THIS FALL. Cue the horrified gasps-- mine was a big one-- and get over it. Walking around in leggings and wearing your eyebrows all bushy, you're basically already there.
They come in a variety of hues and patterns-- dark, light, plaid, and that shiny material once reserved for rain slickers in a rainbow of screaming colors. So pick your poison.
Because we're all stars now.... in the boat show.
Sometimes I'm funny.
Like when I think it'll be "fun" to go shopping for designer jeans. I remember I felt the same way in high school, each time there was a dance and I had to go dress shopping: Oooh, what'll I get? What'll I look like? A tango star? A princess? A couture queen? The harsh reality hit me each time as I tried to stuff myself into unforgivingly slinky dresses, wondering which part of me was supposed to fit where, exactly?
It was the same experience with the jeans shopping.
Admittedly, I didn't go to many places. I'm way too impatient to make this exercise last longer than an afternoon. I walked around downtown one sunny day a few weeks ago, and stopped in Swank Boutique, a place I've heard that is just so cool and that I just must go to.
It was cool. As I sampled my first taste of that oft-revered designer dream ware, I understood why people drool over it so much: it's different. It's original. It's clothing that's more like a piece of artwork than a reprinted poster. More like locally cultivated artisan cheese than pre-packaged Twinkies. The similies are endless; you get the idea.
But as I examined an original tank top that had the same quality of fabric as what I would find at Express, I found a price tag four times greater than what I'd pay at Express. Yikes. I browsed a bit more, glazed over the jean selection, but I didn't know how to manuever it. The salesgirl was too busy doing whatever, so I shuffled out.
I also stopped in Blackberry Exchange, another place I've heard about. This place is bigger than Swank, and it's full of gently used clothing at thrift store prices. I glazed over an entire rack of jeans, but I didn't find the kind I was looking for (I kept repeating my mission to myself: Dark! Bootcut! Stretchy!).
Mission. I was on a mission. I was going to bite the bullet. So I went to Britches, cornered a salesgirl and told her I needed help. I didn't even know what size I'd be in these designer places. In the stores at the mall, I'm often a six, but can also be a 4 or an 8, depending on the brand. She told me I'd be something like a 27 or 28 in designer world, so she pulled a few pairs of jeans (from the back of the rack, I noticed), and sent me off to the dressing room.
I will spare you the horrors that followed. I will say this: the jeans did not fit. I searched the store for a bigger size, but there was NONE to be found.
That's right. I'm a size six. I work out at least three days a week. I keep a food journal on the free web site fitday.com. I know the calories, protein, carbs, fat and fiber that I get every day. I eat my fruits and my vegetables. And you're telling me I'm too big to fit?
No wonder girls go anorexic, I thought, as I scurried my big self out the door. Trying not to sniffle, I tried to make myself feel better, repeating the logic I stated above, and remembering that even Tyra's body was too curvacious for couture, so she switched to commercial. (Although the similarities between me and Tyra begin and end there).
So instead of going home and giving up, I went commercial. That's right. I went back to the mall. I was on a mission, after all, and there was no stopping now.
I ended up finding jeans that fit me perfectly at Express, of course. Then I found two other pairs at Gap, that needed to be hemmed pretty badly (the Asian lady at the mall who hemmed them for me couldn't suppress her snicker as I tried on my new jeans for her). But I concluded my excursion triumphant--although not in the way I'd originally planned.
So in trying to expand my fashion horizions, I ended up coming home-- to the places where I've been getting jeans for years. And to places where I am not the largest size.
I guess, in the end, it doesn't matter so much where the clothes come from or how much they cost. It's more about how you feel in the clothes, and how they fit you. Jeans are especially tricky, and for now, I'm going to give my body the respect it deserves. I'm not going to squish it into assless jeans for stick figures; I'll flatter it in clothing that accomodates and enhances its dimensions.
Or I'll stick it to the designers this way: I don't think you're ready for this jelly. My body's too bootylicious for you, bitches.
I hate this title. Because it shows up in magazines usually every other month or so-- just in time to tell you what new jeans to buy for a new season-- and it's always the same. Women are "petite," "pear-shaped", "boy-shaped," or "curvy"(synonym for plus-size). I, however, have figured out that I am a short/sorta petite/hourglass shaped/J-Lo bootie kind of girl. And they don't make jeans for me.
Well, not that I've found anyway. It's not just the magazines that exclude me-- it's the stores, too.
And I know I'm not alone in this denim dilemma. I've heard countless women complain about how they never find jeans that are long enough or big enough or small enough, and I've started to wonder who they really make jeans for, anyway.
But I've decided to suffer at the hands of jeans designers no more! I've done some research, and there are resources out there to help. But it takes some studying up and some careful consideration-- no just running into the mall and buying something off the rack. So check out these sites:
- Truejeans.com has you take your measurements even has a free tape measure that you can print out. It then shows you some designer jeans that, based on the ideal style/color combination for your body type, are supposed to look fabulous on you. I found it pretty helpful to look at the kinds of jeans that would be best for me-- but the only downside was that I hadn't really heard of the designers they showed me (and I don't think I'm that out of the loop!).
- Zafu.com is similar to truejeans.com, but without the measurements. It asks some personal questions ("is your seat shape flat, regular, perky or wide?"), and then gives you suggestions for what jeans and cuts are best to buy.
- Mejeans.com lets you totally design your own jeans, which is pretty cool. You get to pick everything: cut, color, length, hem style, little designy-thingies on your butt pockets... I just don't know if I have the $145-plus to blow on one pair of jeans.
- And of course, the Women's Health magazine site where I found all of this information is pretty useful. It has a GREAT jeans slideshow, where it rates the best jeans (who knew that Gap classic straight legs look good on 9 out of 10 women?) by style and fit.
Now that I'm armed with all this information, and I know what kinds of jeans to look for, I'm going to head out into that wild jungle of Columbia this weekend just to see if these jeans do exist. And if the service around here is decent enough. Not to be a princess or anything, but based on what I've read (and a few lessons from good ol' Stacey and Clinton), I'm on a mission for the perfect pair for me: Dark, bootcut, stretchy, mid-low rise, with very few embellishments.
Ready, set, GO!
Girl one: Ohmigod preggo shirts! I LOVE preggo shirts!
Girl two (eating popcorn): Ya me too. That way, when I'm at Harpo's, I won't look down down and be all like, Hello, Roll, thanks for coming out tonight.
Okay, okay, so Columbia, Missouri is as far away from high fashion as is Pluto from the sun (or from being a planet anymore, for that matter!). But Stephens College has a thriving fashion program, and this weekend it offered up its Preview Weekend Fashion Show for prospective students.
The theme, Marvel-ous, lent a superhero flair to work, active and swim styles.
Click on the slideshow on the right for a more close-up look at the fantastic fashion showcased!
